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  • Crys Armstrong

Love the Source of Your Programming

I spent the darkest hours of the Corona virus pandemic in quarantine, resting in a lake house on the shores of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. Each day I walked out of the house, down the steps to the lake, and rested my eyes upon the San Pedro volcano. At times I could close my eyes and envision the power the volcano once had, when it erupted thousands of years ago.

At that moment, like the volcano, my life was in a stage of dormancy. My lifestyle as a backpacker, traveling from town to town in search of magic and ancient wisdom, had been temporarily halted. My backpack rested in the closet of the home, where it was only used for abnormally large grocery trips.

At the lake I was going through a process of reprogramming. Less than a year before I stopped drinking alcohol, set down my corkscrew and left my career as a sommelier. I knew it was time to create a new life, to embrace the new path that was calling me, but something was in the way. Each day I was digging deep into my mind, my heart, and my body to understand what had been holding me back from creating my new life.

Every single one of us is programmed. Ever since we took our first breath of air, we have been shaped and molded in the design of our culture, our society, our family, and our community. Each touch, each sound, each word writes lines of code into our brain and body, slowly creating the person that we are today.

Resting there in Guatemala, I was given the gift of time. I chose not to run, but to stay and utilize the community of spiritual seekers, teachers, and guides to question dozens of beliefs and programs that were still shaping my life. I bounced from temple to retreat center to Mayan fire ceremony shedding light on my inner self and asking, “does this serve me?” If the answer was no, I would go deep into my inner world and clean, clear, rewrite, and reprogram.

After 11 months at the lake, I finally received a message to leave. My guidance was indicating to me it was time to go and see my family. Go back to the United States of America, and dive right back into the source of much of my programming. It felt like Neo deciding to go back into the Matrix to visit the Oracle. There was much to understand and reveal, but he had to walk back into the very system that he just left, violently ejected from the program with the help of one red pill.

A part of me feared being captured again. Somehow turning a corner and being confronted with an Agent, preparing myself to fight. Thinking that at any moment someone I meet would lock me down and prevent me from leaving, subjecting me to the programs that I had spent so much effort to break free from.

And yet, conversations with my parents have been fulfilling. There is no blame, only awareness and gratitude. The television and radio are there doing their work, sending program updates through the airwaves, yet I witness and do not consume. The internet sends me different ads based on my location, they catch my eye, they drag my attention away from my focus, yet I do not click.

I have been preparing for this all my life, I will not fail. I will not go back to my old life, that life of distraction and confusion, depression and frustration.

At first I tried to resist, to call out all of the programs, to rebel and try to get others to recognize the power they have over us. I thought in some way I could help others around me by showing them the ridiculous nature of these systems. I hated these programs and I wanted them to stop.

The problem here is, they will not stop with hatred. Hatred will only make them stronger, growing in power to overcome your resistance. The answer now can only be love.

Love your programming. Love the sources of your programming. If you can see it, you can love it. If you can’t see the program yet, love that you will eventually be conscious enough to recognize it and rewrite it.

The clothes we are given to wear as a child is part of our programming. Just look at this cute young version of me!

Love your family. Love your parents for doing everything that they did to raise you. Love them even if they couldn’t love you the way you needed to be loved. Love them even if their words or actions were burned into your subconscious, affecting you in ways no one could have predicted. Love them because you chose them, you chose this family and these circumstances in order to create the ideal life to serve your highest mission here.

Love your culture, your society, their messages and their media. Love the incessant programs that they dump on us, because without these programs, you wouldn’t know contrast, you wouldn’t have had something to change.

Love your friends, your peers, all of those other students or neighbors, the people who helped the system program you with pressure and expectation. Thank them for showing you the life you don’t want to live. Love them, because they are you, and you are them, we are not separate.

Love your programming, and with love change your programming. You are the result of your programs, so if you hate them, you will only hate yourself. Hatred does not takes us higher, it brings us back down into the darkness. Instead, love. Love lifts. Love encourages. Love frees.

So go back and thank each and every movie, advertisement, news story, school subject, friend, neighbor, and family member. Thank them for creating this version of you that has taken their power back as a conscious programmer. Reprogram yourself, not them. Change yourself, not anyone else. Forcing anyone else to change is fear, not love. It is the method the world has used to keep us under control, that the Matrix uses to reinforce itself.

Choose differently, yet love those that still choose the same.

Your love will lift you up and create the world you so desire to see.

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